Our first 12 steps together (or when girls tell us what to do)

So I was really hoping to test some crazy advice you've received on how to get the first post-school law job. But alas, you have been playing hard to get. Very hard. So... I guess we'll start with this, as promised in my "A Teaser" post.  As noted, I received this bit of advice from career services during a doc review info session. But to be fair, one of my friends did send this to me before. I guess they knew I was desperate, and a girl.

In all fairness again, I think this article is a great starting point for things we should be doing, and while it's a girls guide, it is not gender specific from what I can tell. But I do think a lot of this should be done earlier than 3L or post-grad. While the reality is that most law students have enough other things to worry about (getting good grades, getting on law review, getting a boyfriend only to be cheated on by said (now hopefully ex)boyfriend and having to deal with the fact that you two chose to sit next to each other in every 1L class), this is a big one that we should have paid more attention to earlier. Also, while the tips here are promising, some really will not pan out for many students. More below.

OK, number 1 - Accept that this is scary and may be frustrating.
I gather if you're in the same position, you have likely come to terms with your feelings on being a jobless J.D. If not, lie down on the couch and read. I have no future at the moment (I can't even get a part-time job as a barista, and I was really counting on getting that beer wench position), no way to pay the bills and nowhere to live next year. So, scared? You bet. I've applied hundreds of places, had a dozen interviews and no viable offer. There are a lot of reasons why I may be in this position, and all of them are frustrating. Frustrated, check. Ok, now we know how we're feeling. I don't like to stay in depressed land for too long, so let's move on.

Numero dos - Brainstorm ways to generate income.
Well I must say, I am very proud of that new mother who made oodles of money writing. I'm not a new mother, but I would sure love it if I got paid for writing this blog. Anyone want to follow this blog and send me money to keep doing this? Yeah? Or even food, like with the Julie and Julia blog (that movie always makes me hungry)? I can't promise I'll bone a duck (heh) but I do make a mean boeuf bourguignon. And I have to eat. No? Well, maybe one day. For now, my writing doesn't seem to be making me any money.

So how else can I make money? Well, obviously a law job would be nice. But this tip seems to be a bridge, something to get us by between graduation and that first job. Something law related would be nice, but wouldn't that just be a law job then?

Ok, let's assume it's not a law thing then. Well, you can always make some money by selling things you don't use to someone who wants them. I've recently discovered the wonders of craigslist in accomplishing this. But this will probably not generate that much income. Plus I am hoping that this tip was not meant to just make us sell all of our old N64 games, Yu-Gi-Oh cards and IKEA furniture sets. We'll need something to play with and sit on when we're unemployed and bored.

I guess this is looking at what we're good at outside of law (or inside) and how to exploit that skill in a way to make money that doesn't necessarily equal a law job. I'll have to think about this. It seems like I could mix this with the "find your passion" advice. Just not my law passion? I don't know, I'm still murky on the effectiveness of this one, but I'll keep trying to think of ways to make extra money during my ten minute bar prep lecture breaks. That and running to the vending machine to soothe my nerves with Funyons and a Rice Krispies Treat. Mmmm. See, this is what happens when you don't send me stuff to make bouef bourguignon.

I get that this tip is important. We need to make money. But preparing for the bar is a full-time job, and so is trying to find our first law job. If we add on trying to find an in-between job, it seems like something is going to get shirked along the way. I mean, I have certain skills and assets that I could exploit as a stripper, but I don't know if that's what O'Melveny and Myers or the Fed is looking for. Besides, working all night is not going to help me study for the bar, and not being able to get rid of all that glitter is going to do wonders for my law interviews I am sure. I can only imagine what it would be like to go into an interview and recognize the lap of the person interviewing you. Please describe for us how you recently handled being put in an uncomfortable position at work.

THREE! Loan Repayment options.
Well, if I go with income based and I don't have a job, I don't have to pay anything back - yippee!! No. But there are options for those making less money (income based or income contingent). Working in certain non-profit or public service jobs may also qualify for loan forgiveness after ten years. All good things. Ok, so make sure you check this one. Talk to someone competent on loans and loan repayment options (this might not necessarily be the financial aid person at your school) and make a plan, or at least know when you need to start actually dealing with this bundle of joy. Still not sure how this is getting me a job, but it is helping me get a handle on my financial future, which is good.

Word to the wise - don't discuss future money problems with friends who have a law job already, especially one that daddy gave them. Take my word that it is super fun to hear them complain about all of these expenses they could have, but the firm is paying for their iPhone, and their data plan, and their health and car and not knowing when to shut up insurance. And how could they ever begin to deal with this stuff without the firm's help? Take my word for it and do not engage in such conversation with your friends. You want to keep your friends. They might pay you for your baseball cards one day when you're hungry for Ramen.

Number 4 - Pass the Bar.
We ain't there yet. But these fun bar classes are really making me feel confident. Nothing like taking a pretest in a class you got an A+ in and now getting a 35%. Law school left me highly unprepared for the bar. It makes you wonder, what exactly did law school do?

If it's anything like the LSAT, the GRE or the MPRE, my advice is to stick to a study plan (that's what we're paying these companies for) and make sure you do practice questions. A lot of them. Besides that, do not burn out. Set aside time to go to a concert, to play Putt-Putt, or to go to the shooting range if you desire a slightly more cathartic activity. Just make sure to do something social and fun - don't lose perspective on the bigger picture of living your life. We've been told to treat it like a full-time job. And I think that is doable while still being able to live your life. Of course during some of that free time we need to continue to look for a law job. So again, I would not recommend overdoing it on trying to find a non-law job (assuming law is what you want to do, which it should be if you're spending the time and money on the bar exam).

Ok, that's my take on the first four of these. Time to go review a torts outline. Oh hey, remember when Bar Review was a fun, awkward Thursday night at a local bar where you got to watch drunk law students try to hook up with other drunk law students, while you drank Irish Car Bombs and mystery drinks made by the bartender? Yeah, those were the days of fun, alcohol-laden bar review. Now it's just coffee-laden bar review. And yet I still feel equally drained and craving greasy Asian Buffet the next day. If this keeps up, I'll need to work in some kind of workout regimen to offset the daily five plates of lo mein, General Tso's, and butter pecan ice cream.

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Still to come (a.k.a hold on to your pants but not your breath, I'd like you to actually read these when I post them)
5 - Know what you want and tell everyone. I want to make bank. Clarification: I want to go to the bank with a check that I can deposit, spend on necessaries, and still have a little left over for karaoke. I'll work on getting this more precise.
6 - Get help with your resume. No, don't make stuff up, this isn't National Honors Society applications. I mean really, so many people I know lied on their honors society applications, and then they got a stupid white carnation inviting them in and I didn't. They could've at least waited until last period to do that so my face didn't have to be splotchy the entire day. Well, we're past those days now... right?
7 - Strategic informational interviewing. This is where I will have to turn my SAP into a SAP. Brace yourselves.
8 - Take people you've worked with out for coffee and ask for help. I've actually done this one. With moderate success. I'll tell you more later (have to leave you wanting more).
9- Talk to professors who seem to like you. Well, they all like me.  But really, I've done this one too, and have gotten some good and some ridiculous advice this way. Again, I must leave you wanting more.  This one will not disappoint (as if any of my posts would disappoint).
10 - Attend events at the Bar Association. Good thing I already broke out of SAP at 7. Party hats this time. And take it easy on the whiskey and ginger ales.
11 - Pick up a pro bono project with a mentor. What? Uh, I'll get back to you on this one.
12 - Get strategic. Shoot, I can't just throw darts at job posting sites to see which ones to apply for? I can't just send out a million cold letters? I've always wanted to try the stair method. Ok. Seriously. We all have been trying to be strategic, but maybe there are better ways or new things we should consider in our attempts at finding a job.