Baby Steps

This bar stuff really takes up a lot of time. So a little more on passing the bar, since it's pretty much become my life. Then onto figuring out what you want and telling everyone. More to come later. Baby steps people. Baby steps to getting that job. Baby steps to the elevator. Baby steps into the elevator. Baby steps out of the elevator. Stairs are better for you anyway.

Four. Pass the Bar Expansion Pack: Less exciting. Way more tl;dr questions. And another list.

I don't think this list will help me get a job. But in order to pass the bar, it is important to come to terms with where you are, and how it has affected your life. To make corrections where needed to get back on track. Don't forget - there is life outside of bar prep. And it won't bite.

1. Definitely failed my first MBE practice test. After three days of drilling real property into my head I just got a 40% on my capstone quiz. Weaknesses: everything. Strengths: keep trying kid. Honestly, I think what upsets me more is that I took this quiz at 10pm on a Friday night. WooT! Bar prep!

2. I hate hearing I will pass. Almost as much as it will all work out. Nobody has a job yet. Didn't you wear that dress to another event earlier this year? Some of these comments are intended to make us feel better when uttered by non-law students and non-lawyers. Don't be too hard on them. They're trying, and they can't really fully understand why we hate these seemingly innocuous words. Full permission to throw your whiskey and ginger ale in the face of the person who asks you that last question though.

3. Abandon something you normally do. I have some friends who have stopped showering regularly. Nothing like enjoying a nice 90 minutes of 90 degree yoga and then sitting in the car with your friend after he tells you he hasn't showered in two days (please god let him at least remember the deodorant next time). For me it's reading. I will hate bar prep forever for that one. But I'll take this loss over being the smelly kid.

4. Buy something ridiculous. Well, I almost bought a pair of Louboutin pumps this weekend. That would certainly qualify, considering those cost more than my annual salary for the past three years. Combined. I did take up a new sport and purchase equipment for that. The salesman was so excited that a high schooler was getting a second chance at playing sports. Aww, I just graduated from law school. Thanks for calling me sixteen and slow at sports.

5. Sleep issues have been a problem since before bar prep, so no credit given to the behemoth of bar prep here.

6. Not saying which way on the weight. It's not polite to ask a girl that.

7. Pick up a weird habit? Blogging? Nah, that's just weird for me, not weird in general. I've stopped eating at a table? Wow, really pulling at straws here. I must say, I'm disappointed, usually I do weird without even trying. Apparently bar prep has quelled and not quickened my quirkiness for the moment.

8. Drink alone. Yep. Did that while on a rampage to kill the new couple that moved in. They had the audacity to come into my home. Had to drink to work up the courage to do them in. I'm talking about insects, of course. Lots of legs. Bodies. Had to vacuum the walls. But definitely drank alone. And for when you do, a gift for your eyes and ears.

9. Have a weird run-in with a stranger. Order 99. Little cheeseburger with lettuce and mayo and cajun fries. Oh. Hey there. I can tell you've bathed recently. (Immediately look for signs of deodorant stains on my shirt or shampoo still in my hair) Thanks?

10. Cry. Please, I don't need bar prep to do that. I just watch Mad Men. The Notebook. Wall-E. You know, because I am not soulless.

Well, at least I didn't get a 40% on this list. On to Evidence.


Five. Know what you want and tell everyone. 
A better job market? A job where I get these for free (please exist)? A time machine? No, really, a time machine. Do you have one? I'm still waiting on a few parts for mine. Well, since we're stuck in the present moving forward, I guess we need to figure out what we want to do with our lives. And sing it from the mountaintops like Sister Maria. Though maybe without falling in love with an emotionally unavailable man who hates music, adopting seven kids, or climbing up mountains. But at least the view is great, and you can always make a great frock from any hotel's drab drapes. Plus your newly adopted kids will make you a lot of dead presidents (cash, for those not in the know) with their newly formed musical troupe.

Focus.

OK. How do you know what you want and tell everyone? I know what it's not. It's not "law" or "a job." We need to narrow it down to show we have an interest in something and will be dedicated to that kind of work, not that we are desperately just trying to stay afloat (illusions, Michael) It makes me nervous to narrow my focus too much though, because then I could miss other opportunities. So be smart about what you want, and be honest. Maybe it's a specific practice area (intellectual property). Maybe it's a location (D.C.). Maybe it's a size (large). That's what she said (sigh, large firm). Maybe it's a passion.

You caught me. I still haven't found my passion. I've been busy with bar prep, trying to destress with vinyasas, and perfecting salsa (roasted, that's all I have to say). I can tell you that I much prefer going to concerts, sweating in my downward dog (do I even have to say it?), and eating fried food at amusement parks to what has now become the law and life for me - bar prep.

So forget about bar prep. Run away! Really though. Ok, take bar prep seriously but step away from it and enjoy life a little too. Bar prep is not the law, it is not what our lives will be like after we pass the bar. It's just another pointless hurdle we have to complete in order to get to our end goal. And while you're away from the sarlacc known as bar study, think about what classes you enjoyed in law school. Not because of the teacher, but the subject matter. Think about the work projects you've enjoyed. The environments you liked being in. The experiences you miss. And go from there.


Don't worry there's still more to come. Next up:

Six: Get help with your resume.
I've enlisted the help of some friends (people who return my g-chat messages and friend requests on facebook) to get a different perspective on this.

Seven: Informational Interviews.
This will be fun to squeeze in with bar prep and a general lack of motivation due to said bar prep. Time to dust off my fancy clothes.

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As an aside, I came across this during a ten minute break from a six hour real property lecture.


Bar prep has only added to my regrets about going to law school. It has made me wonder what life decisions I possibly could have made that led to me stress eating seven 100-calorie jello pudding 'gourmet' desserts during a three hour contracts video, getting paper cuts from flashcards I will never have time to read, and daydreaming that I instead took the road that traveled to E3.

It makes me wonder how I got here, and why I didn't leave a breadcrumb trail to avoid being eaten alive in the candy house of trying to become an employed lawyer. But alas, this ship has sailed. And now this (GoT Season 2 spoiler - seriously epic and worth waiting for it to come in the show, on a real tv, if you haven't see it yet) is happening to my ship.


Honestly, this licensing stuff is pointless to me. But if they are going to make us do it, it should be more cost-effective for us. Teach us in law school what we need to know for the bar. Or test us on the bar in a way that reflects what we will be doing as lawyers. And have us learn that in law school. Make changes that remove the discontinuity and culture shock that comes from switching between undergrad, LSAT, 1L, 2L, 3L, bar prep, and lawyering in real life. Take away all the red tape that requires us to go to take out a mortgage on our life.  Ah, but there's the rub. More cost-effective for us is not in the best interests of the law schools and bar prep companies and the bar. Just like the socratic method - they went through it and so should we. So basically this shit isn't going anywhere. Go study. Maybe they'll hire you and you can become part of the machine.

In the meantime, go surf reddit, go get a drink, or go kill some aliens in halo. But for the love of all that is good, no more bar prep tonight. You've earned a break.